Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I'm without words.
No words.
None.
Don't have any.
I'll work on it.
Miguelito at 5:52 PM
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I'm at a point in life... A big one. The doorway of adulthood yawns before me. House. Marriage. All of the Big Stuff.
Am I wrong to be scared shitless? I am.
But I can't stop myself from making the big choices just because I'm afraid of the choices I'll make. Sometimes, you just have to roll the dice. You weigh the pros and cons... And you just have to pick a side eventually.
My biggest problem is that I have no confidence in my own judgment. I would like to think that I had a track record of sound decision-making to base my life on... I don't. I've never been able to see the forest for the trees, in relationships... In my career... Anywhere.
I have the feeling that something enormous is right in front of my nose, waving its arms frantically and wearing a drug store Hawaiian shirt... And I just can't (or won't) see it.
Fuck.
Miguelito at 5:53 PM
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Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Well... Let's see...
Raise. Got one. Check.
Home Loan. Pre-Approved. Check.
Anniversary Plans. Planning. Check.
Life is pretty good right now... Pretty good.
Bedtime. 10:00. Check.
Miguelito at 9:58 PM
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Thursday, March 16, 2006
In the ongoing war for my affections... Both HBO and Showtime have had their days in the sun. But... HBO... Seriously... Why Boomerang? Why every day?
I love The Sopranos... Deadwood, Curb Your Enthusiasm. All great.
But... Boomerang?
Every God-damned day.
Miguelito at 5:56 PM
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Thursday, March 09, 2006
Heard I was gettin a raise today.
I think that I care about that... In some, as yet-to-be-determined way.
Need to mull it over. Weird.
I'm really having a hard time getting overly passionate about things anymore. That bothers me...
But... Apparently not too much. I'm Mellow Yellow. Even Steven.
Miguelito at 10:50 PM
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Monday, March 06, 2006
I'm a book man.
I'm reading three books at the moment. This is a strange habit to those who know me... Reading multiple books at once. But... There it is. It's what I do.
Currently:
1776 by David MacCullough.
Lamb by Christopher Moore.
The Last Season by Phil Jackson.
and...
Cell by Stephen King.
I've read every Stephen King book. Most of them I've read five or six times over. Cell got me thinking...
As I read it so far (about a third of the way through), it seems to be pretty standard zombie fare. Now, zombies have never done much for me as far as scares are concerned. For me, it's the serial killer. The man you may pass by a thousand times without realizing he keeps a collection of pickled penises in his medicine cabinet. That scares me.
But I think now I realize the attraction. Zombie stories are not about the zombies. They're about the people who deal with the zombies. The fear comes, not from the shambling corpse bearing down on you at two miles an hour... But from your fellow survivors. The same people who should, by all rights, be firmly seated in your boat. They invariably sell you down the river. They sacrifice you. They lock you out of the cellar. You know the drill. The continue to cling to those little realities that are still afforded them when the world comes crashing down. Selfishness, greed, lust. The basic sins. When the world becomes basic... So do our evils.
Also, these sorts of stories are intellectually stimulating. Stop laughing. It allows us to think to ourselves: "What would I do?" We get to play armchair post-apocalyptic quarterback. Where are the guns? How do we get them? What kind of guns are best? Would guns even be effective?
How about food? A safe shelter?
Most important. We get to critique the decisions of the heroes... Somehow believing that we would not be the asshole who throws the teenage girl at the undead horde to save his own ass - And knowing full well that we would.
I like this book. But then again... Stephen King could write a damned fine cookbook, in my opinion.
Miguelito at 6:46 PM
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Friday, March 03, 2006
At work, I receive little gifts on an almost daily basis now.
Today: 2 movie passes.
Yesterday: A $20.00 gift certificate for Barnes and Noble.
Little gifts all the time. It's kind of cool.
Today I realized that I had made my company over $50,000 last month. Should I feel something about this? Should I view these little rewards as kudos for a job well done... Or as meaningless pacifiers that keep me from realizing how little I'm paid in relation to my worth to the company? Am I, like the common crow, amused by shiny objects?
I don't know.
And maybe, I'm just too old to care anymore. What? Like I'm going to stage a strike or something? Organize a union? No. I'm too lazy for that.
Caw.
Miguelito at 5:56 PM
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